Plumbing issues

The Chinese deserve credit for so many things they do well. They are masters of cooking I can't begin to describe how tasty they can make corn, green beans, egg plant, broccoli and cabbage--I could be a vegetarian here. They are also wizards at making water buffalo taste good--tonight we had a pepper beef dish that is to die for. We also had a fish dish that tops any fish I've had in USAmerica. (They fillet the fish then make fish rolls that include cilantro, garlic and an herb to be named later, then place the rolls in a row and return the head and tail before cooking and presenting the dish. Wish I'd had a camera to capture Judy's expression when the fish was served, staring at her.)

They are amazing gardeners. Find a small plot of land and they'll grow something. Or, construct a building with a flat roof and they'll add dirt and turn it into a roof garden.

Horticulture? They can't be beat. You'll find parks here that make anything we've got in USAmerica look bland. (They transplant anything with success, even mature trees. Fascinating!)

But plumbing? NO WAY!!! For some reason they've not got this down very well. (Who am I kidding, they suck at plumbing.) What's supposed to hold water leaks and what's supposed to let water drain doesn't. During our recent village visit we stayed in a very nice hotel (except for the cardboard covered concrete slab bed). It even had a Western potty. Sweet. Our bathroom came with a shower in-a-tub and a counter around the sink--a perk for China. We had plenty of hot water for showers--a luxury. So where's the problem? Glad you asked.

Judy showered first while I scraped my face with cold steel. Then it was my turn. There was a dispenser for hair & body wash--not my idea of an ideal situation. I mean, how does the soap know if you're applying it to hair or body? Surely there's some difference between the texture of hair and skin and the hygiene needs of each. Oh well, it made lather. Things were going well--I even checked to make sure the shear shower curtain was directing the water into the tub and not onto the bathroom floor, and the wisp of a curtain was doing it's job. Who wants a wet bathroom floor.(So far, so good.) I finished after a reasonable time (reasonable means I used enough hair & body wash along with the water to get my hair and body washed. Being a "full bodied" guy, it takes some time to get all the din off my skin (I don't know what that means either, but I wanted to rhyme something). Turn off the water, open the curtain and grab a towel. OH NO, THERE'S WATER ON THE FLOOR! How did it get there since I was being so careful with the curtain? IT WAS COMING OUT OF THE FLOOR DRAIN! That's right, the water was draining out of the tub, down the drain, and up onto the floor. HOW CRAZY IS THAT? Couldn't stop the flood. I threw down towels in a futile attempt to dam up the water. The only thing I succeeded in doing was getting all our towels sopping wet. It suddenly dawned on me--I can't swim! The water continued to rise--the rats were bailing out of the ship, the furniture was floating, the musicians began playing "Nearer My God to Thee" (oh wait, that was on the Titanic). The tide stopped rising just before it got to the three foot line on our door, which was fortunate because the door stoop was at three feet and 1/2 inch (and it explained why we had such a big step to get into the bathroom).

We reported the problem, fully expecting the Asian Roto Rooter to arrive and correct the problem before our next bathing adventure. WRONG! The next morning the water began to rise. But I had a flash of insight--PUT THE PLUG IN THE TUB--KEEP THE WATER IN THE TUB AND NOT ON THE FLOOR. But remember, the things that are supposed to hold water don't. However, in this case, the bathtub plug slowed the water enough so it didn't totally flood the floor. I OUT SMARTED A STUPID DRAIN. I'm proud of that.

The next time you find yourself in a Chinese shower and the water begins to rise, plug the drain. (Just a helpful hint from this old fat white guy who sometimes travels the world.)